Chapter 8
Holly drove to the pool with her three children, and Jeff, jockeying to see the first glimpse of the pool. She had stopped by Jeff’s house to pick up his bathing suit and have a quick chat about the red rangers intelligence then was off again. Bryan would be meeting them. She was looking forward to him in a bathing suit.It was odd to be doing something so family with him. Though she always knew he’d be part of her life. She was starting to wonder if he was actually becoming part of her family’s life. It wouldn’t be a hardship, as her children loved him. She could already see the attachment between them all. Even Jeff seemed to like him, and the boy didn’t seem to like many men. She wondered what happened to him or maybe it was just shyness around those stronger. By the time they reached the pool any argument had ceased and the kids were bouncing in their seats waiting to be parked and out in the water. She herded them into the pool area, tried to control them as they breathed on the glass doors of the pool while she paid their admission then had to bribe them to sit still while she talked about swimming lessons.
Once it was all in order, she had a minor headache from the whining and children screaming around her. Pools were the breading ground for headaches, up there with playgrounds, birthday parties and fairs. She walked down the hallway to the change rooms. Instructing the boys to go to their own, as they were indeed men now, and not to bother the old men, or call them fat, as they have gotten in trouble for that before. At least Kyle has, but what’s new?
Holly and Tina walked into the ladies change room. After careful deliberation, Tina chose and appropriate changing stall and walked in. Holly changed by the lockers, in front of that particular change room. Like most mothers, her body wasn’t something she was shy about. Hell, complete strangers had seen her give birth. No other experience could make a person less shy.
As they walked out to the pool area, Holly had to supress the urge to jump into the pool. She loved swimming. It made her feel free and lightweight and like she could conquer the world, just by swimming up to it. As they waited, Holly noticed the amazing amount of people Tina waved to. One poor boy almost tripped over his feet when Tina waved and shouted out his name. Oh puppy love is so cute, especially at that young an age, where it’s still innocent and rarely hurts. The boys ran out, almost slipped then righted themselves.
“Bryan is getting changed!” They exclaimed.
“Well I’m glad to know.” And quite glad for the mental picture.
“Can we go now?” Tina tugged on Holly’s hand. “Mom,” she whined, “we’ve been waiting forever!”
“Alright.” Holly laughed. They headed down to the pool area where Bryan and Kyle jumped in. Tina attempted to, before Holly headed her towards the kiddy area. Tina could swim, just not so great as to be able to handle the deep end.
Holly felt arms enfold her from behind just before she was thrown into the pool. She came up spitting water out of her mouth and flinging her hair out of her face. She was so going to get him back.
Bryan was standing on the ledge pointing and laughing. He looked as though he may collapse from laughing, she didn’t see how it was so funny, but soon would. She pouted a little and looked up at him with helpless eyes. She held out her hand “Help me up?” He reached for her hand, big mistake, but by the time he realized she was flinging herself backwards and he along with her. She swam as fast as she could to the other side and hoped to hell he was still far behind. She felt a hand on her head and held her breath as she was plunged under.
Holly stood up in the waist deep water and glared at Bryan. His hair was hanging over his brow, and he looked so adorable. And of course him being a very hot piece of male specimen in low riding surfer shorts with a long lean torso and enough of a tan for him to get away topless, was in his favor.
Holly looked around. In the few seconds they had played their little game of tag she had trusted the lifeguards to safely guard her children. Now that that was over she had to search them out quickly.
She saw Kyle and Jeff on one of the floatation devices probably imagining it a pirate ship. And she could see Tina’s head over the ledge in the kiddy pool.
“Got to go check on Tina.” Holly said with a nod of her head in the other pools direction. She waded over to the side and hoisted herself up, rewarding Bryan with a nice view of the backside of a scantily clothed woman. Bathing suits were invented by god, was his only thought. Bryan too waded over to the side and lifted himself up. Wet rippling muscle was very nice too, and Holly tried not to ogle too much at his beautiful, wet, tanned, perfectly toned back rising out of the water. After all she was only human, what would a little drooling hurt?
They smiled at each other and Holly hopped into the kiddy pool. She walked over to ruffle Tina’s hair then over to the built in hot tub that the pool intended for children’s parents to sit. Bryan sat beside her, close enough for their shoulders to touch. This game they were playing, revolving around each other in a game of who can get whom riled up the most, was going to be fun.
“I’m sorry about slamming the door in your face last night.”
“It’s alright. I’m sure your door liked it.”
“Yeah, you want to come to dinner tonight?”
“Hell yeah, what’s on the menu?”
“I don’t know yet, any suggestions?”
“Spaghetti. I love your spaghetti.” He grinned over at her.
Holly just nodded her agreement. Maybe they would, probably, all the kids like it and it couldn’t go wrong.
“I heard your mom’s coming out next week.”
“First I heard of it.” Holly said, not really surprised though, she didn’t get to call her mother that much.
“Yeah, mom said she was coming down to check up on you and catch up with mom and her new boyfriend.”
“What boyfriend?” Holly asked, somewhat surprised.
“One of her clients.”
“Oh.” Holly tucked her tongue in her cheek. She knew whom he was talking about, and he didn’t sound to pleased about it. “Don’t like him?”
“I don’t have a problem with him. I’m too old to be picking my moms suitors.”
“Hmm, suitors, I wish I had those. Their so sweet.” She batted her eyes jokingly at him.
“I could suit you whenever you feel like it.” He grinned cockily back at her.
“I’m sure. Anyway I remembered why I loved this town.”
“The beautiful scenery? Me?”
“Ha-ha. No. Because of the amazing amount of men who are forward enough to ask a girl out. Even if they are 80” She laughed.
“Who asked you out?” He asked. Trying, not succeeding, in acting non-challant.
Holly raised her brow at him. No one imparticular.
“Mom, can you take me into the big pool?” Tina asked as she grabbed Holly and Bryan’s hands and pulled them towards the big pool.
“Oh I guess so.” Holly winked at Bryan as she let herself be dragged towards the pool.
She hopped in and raised her hands to catch Tina as she jumped in. Tina held onto her mothers arm until she felt comfortable enough to kick and float around, of course she never noticed Holly’s hand that was always following her every move. Bryan hopped in, causing enough of a splash for Tina to giggle. She dog-paddled the small distance to Bryan where she was lifted out of the water and tossed into the air. She was caught just before the water hit her then lifted to spiral around him like an airplane. She was placed back in the water, holding onto Bryan’s shoulder and her mothers. She kicked joyfully and bobbed up and down with the small waves that had started.
Kyle and Jeff paddled over on the foamy flotation and splashed water on everyone.
“I want on!” Tina demanded.
“No. It’s not for stupid babies.”
“Kyle.” Bryan said. Surprising Holly with the quickness he said it and the maternal warning that seemed natural.
Kyle shrugged and let Tina be hoisted up onto the foamy. She giggled and bounced up and down. Holly slipped under the water a little more. Letting her feet float towards the surface she spread herself out to float lazily as the waves rocked her body. She bumped into Bryan and was surprised with the heat that sprang from his touch. She was used to his touch. Hadn’t she been feeling it for many years now? Maybe it was just that she was extremely attracted to him, and he was wet, and his chest was naked. She stood up bumping into him solidly. His hands came to her elbows to steady her as the waves grew stronger and pushed her against the wall that was him.
His left hand drew away from her, reaching out to grab the foamy loaded with children that was floating slowly away in the waves. He lowered his mouth to hers at the same time.
He could taste the chlorine on her lips over the sweet tangy taste that was her own. Her body was slowly, rhythmically being swayed against his. The ways were very much so causing him more pleasure then the neighboring children who were satisfied just bobbing around. He could feel the curves of her body, his hand left her elbow to settle intimately at her hip. She seemed to brace herself with a hand on his forearm, though she ended up leaning into the kiss, and gripping his arm. Her other hand floundered near the foamy, half of her almost wanting the protection of children, the other half begging to be taken.
He had to break the kiss, that or he was going to take her right here in this swimming pool. Maybe not with all the children watching, but he was damn close to losing his control. He pulled back; it was the safest thing to do.
Her sense of time had disappeared. Did they spend hours just standing there in a silent embrace or was it just seconds? It must have just been seconds, as the waves were still going and neither child had noticed. She tapped his arm, and he stepped back.
“One of these days, we’re going to finish that.” He warned silently.
“I know.” Was all she said, as she blew out a breath.
They finished the trip to the pool in a mutual sexual tension. The children were thankfully oblivious and seemed to enhance the tension by giving no option for either adult to act. Tina had concentrated on getting Bryan to teach her to swim. After watching him chase after her mother in another bout of water war, Tina decided he was the best swimmer in the world, and a perfect tutor. Holly was watching the boys and cheering Tina on. Eventually the boys saw someone they knew and were off to go splash and raid pirate ships and what not. When the time to go finally came, everyone had slightly pruned fingertips and a hunger fit for a king. Happy exhaustion hit the kids and Tina fell asleep on the way to dropping Jeff off. Once that was done, Holly met up with Bryan at her place and was deep in cooking before the laundry machine reached its first cycle. Bryan sat at the kitchen table engrossed in a puzzle and conversation with her children. She was once again struck with how much of a family they were becoming. If she wasn’t careful she would begin to need him. But who was she kidding she already did. The big problem was, was what was she going to do when her kids started needing him. They already lost one father, as neglectful and jerky he was, they didn’t need to gain, and then lose another.
The fact that she had realized she wanted Bryan to be there farther started her into dropping the wooden spoon on the floor. Everyone looked up, their heads were bent close together around the puzzle, she blew out a breath and tried to smile gamely.
“Slippery spoon.”
Bryan stared at her a little longer after she shrugged off the spoon, his gaze became disconcerting, almost as if he could see her every though and feeling. Then he gave his attention back to the kids and Holly let out a breath.
She’d have to be careful. It was so tricky being a mother. Other than the normal worries about her children, then adding a job, food, Cam, and then having to add dating the man she’d love since before grade school. It was a lot to handle. Especially when that boy had broken her heart more times then she cared to remember.
Not really his fault though. Her tender heart had led her to believing that he had cared as deeply as she every single time she had fell for him. And each time he broke her heart by not noticing, not caring, going out with some other girl, or telling her she was just like a sister to him. She had to give it to him; he knew how to deter a girl.
So soon enough she’d make a decision, and what it came down to was if she’d sleep with him or not. Face it Holly, she said to herself, this is a big decision; its not like when you were 15 and he was a senior and had a hot car. You have two children and your heart riding on it, and hopefully, maybe, possibly, a future together. There’s a possibility it could just be sex, she could sleep with him like so many of her peers, so many her age, who hop into bed and right out the other side. But she couldn’t anymore; she couldn’t live with the stress, the pressure of emotions, of wanting a relationship. Now the relationship came before the sex.
Did they even have a relationship? A few dinners, a few movies, and a few kisses. Did that make something? Or was this all in her head, yet another chapter in her fascination with him. Bryan plays such havoc with her heart, she wondered if she’d ever be used to it.
Holly set the plates she’d assembled on the table. The puzzle would either get pizza sauce on it or it wouldn’t, she really didn’t care at the moment. Bryan was looking at her as if she’d grown an extra head and she just glared at him before settling in to eat her own. Stupid man, if it wasn’t for him she wouldn’t be talking to herself.
Holly sighed and made her self look like she was enjoying the chatter her children made. It was hard when she had suddenly begun to worry so much over what was happening between Bryan and herself. She could already see that the children were beginning to need him. Tina looked to him when she talked, looking for a smile or agreement or anything and Kyle plain old admired him. Her children seemed to gravitate towards him; they would glance at him lovingly almost like he was a father figure.
Though Holly and Bryan had only once had what could be called a date, the times they had spent together seemed to multiply. It became more family activities then couple activities, and when Bryan got a chance to get her alone there was no mistaking what he wanted. But at the same time he would look at the kids in the way someone neglected of a puppy would look. Like it would change their life, teach them lessons nothing else could, and maybe make them a better person, and that it would be fun. Tina probably wished for a father, with her romantic heart she probably dreamt a fairy tale around Bryan, ignoring the father they left behind.
Seeing all the looks that passed between her children and then man who held her heart almost made her believe that miracles happen; that wishes come true. But Holly knew the darker side of families, knew the darker side of a man and what he was capable of. Even with Bryan’s loving hands, and gentle ways, even with the friendship they had shared, she still held a vivid memory of everything Cam had done to her, everything he had said or chanted or breathed. She realized that this wall would have to eventually fall down, but what King would want to lay his kingdom bare for any invader to come to?
And thinking in metaphors wouldn’t help her.
Holly cleaned up the plates that where cleaned, she placed them in the dishwasher along with the pots and other glasses. The kids were asleep in the living room when she walked in.
“They conked out, must have been exhausted from swimming.”
“Yeah. Well I better get them up to bed.” Holly said as she gently picked Tina up.
“I’ll help.” He said, as he lifted Kyle and started towards the stairs.
“No it’s really alright.” She mumbled as she followed in his wake.
She placed Tina in bed, took off her shoes and changed her, as most parents are accustomed to doing. Tina never woke, as she was liable to sleep through a tornado. Once she was in her pajamas Holly tucked her into bed, and kissed her forehead. She whispered, “I love you.” Then prepared to do the same to Kyle.
When she walked into his room he was already changed and tucked in. The fact that Bryan had done so added another layer to the rapidly growing image of a family in her head. She walked to his bed and pulled the covers up tighter, they were just as Kyle liked it, but she felt the need to change it to the way she put it, not the way Bryan had. She kissed his forehead, whispered, “I love you.” Once again and then stood at the door watching the rise and fall of her son’s chest as he slept. Bryan stood at the doorway; half in light half in dark. He reached out his hand and held it in the dark. An invitation to something she didn’t know. She stared at his hand, as though it was an alien form. Slowly she lifted her own and placed it in his. It fit, however many times they had clasped hands or would in the future, and she would always think that they fit. They walked hand in hand down the stairs and to the living room. She opened her mouth to speak, but he beat her to it.
“Are you going to tell me what you’ve been thinking about?” It wasn’t so much a question as a demand.
“Yes.” Just hopefully not now, she still had to sort it out.
“How about now?”
“No.”
“Why?”
Because I’ll say something stupid like I love you! “Because I need to think.”
“Think out loud.”
She gave a strained laugh. “No.”
He decided on a new angle. “Have you seen my place yet?”
“I don’t think so.” Holly said slowly, trying to catch up.
“Oh, it’s almost done. I can’t wait to move in. I’ve already started with some of the rooms they have all done.”
“You should show me it sometime, I’d love to see your dream house.”
“I’ve been talking about it enough.” He laughed
Holly laughed along with him. “Yeah.”
They broke off into a comfortable silence. Each thinking their own thoughts, not realizing they were both thinking the same thing. The silence lasted for a few minutes before Holly shot up out of the seat. “Shit! I forgot to call mom!”
She ran to the phone and dialed her mother’s number.
“Mom? Hi, it’s me, Holly. Yeah I know it’s late.” She listened for a little while. “Yeah, I heard you were coming out.” Holly glanced at Bryan. “No…” a pause. “Mom.” Another pause, and a long suffering sigh true to that of a long-suffering daughter. “You won’t be in my way. Fine. Our way.” There was a lot of talking on the other side, Holly held the phone away from her ear and rolled her eyes. Bryan laughed, trying to be quiet. “Yes mother. Its just Bryan.” Holly raised her eyebrows. “I’m sure his intentions are honorable. Yes mom.” Holly seemed to grow more annoyed at what sounded to Bryan like a lecture. “No, but maybe you should worry about my intentions.”
“Anyway mom, when are you coming out? The kids miss you. No, no, they’re asleep. Yeah we went swimming today.” And Holly continued to catch her mother up on the activities of the day. Eventually Holly asked of her mother’s day, and after a pause she began.
“Holly I have some bad news.”
“What?”
“Cam knows where you are.”
“How?!” Holly voice had risen and Bryan looked over sharply to see her features in shock.
“He hired an investigator.”
“With what money?” Then she answered it for herself. “Probably drug money.”
“Holly. I want you to be alert. He contacted me, came to my house.” She paused, trying to pick her words carefully. “He’s worse then he ever was. He’s more, violent and he looks as if he’s gotten into harsher drugs. There were track marks on his arm.”
“Those were there before.”
“More, and his eyes were red, he seemed skinnier.”
“Oh.” Holly couldn’t drum up the pity she thought she should feel.
“Holly I just want you to know.”
“Thank you, mom.”
“Be careful.”
“I will.”
“Can you try not to be alone?” Her voice seemed tight, Holly wondered how he could have scared her mother so much, she was always such a strong woman. “I’ll try, Bryan’s here so I’m safe for now. And I always have the kids with me, except when they’re at school.”
“You know that won’t stop him.”
“Yes, I know.”
“Well I better let you go, I’m sorry for the bad news.”
“Its not your fault.”
“Read a book or something. Find something to distract you so you can sleep.”
Holly glanced at Bryan and smiled. “I’ll try.”
When she hung up her face was strangely blank. She sat back seeming to think of what to do next.
“Holly, what happened, is your mom alright?” He asked quickly, worry quickly for her quickly replacing that of her mother when she rubbed her face fervently.
Holly breathed deeply. She put her head between her knees and tried to sort things out. Her mind just wouldn’t put all the pieces together, or the pieces even remotely into focus. All she could think of was the image of Cam beating himself into her, the image of his scarred face that tortured her for many days and many nights, and many years before.
“Holly?” He asked, taking her hands frigid hands and trying to warm them between his own.
She breathed once more deeply before looking him in the eyes. She needed to see his concern. She needed to see him, the one person she knew wouldn’t hurt her deliberately, and the one-person she could fully trust. The one person who right now, would have to help her stay sane. “Cam found us.” She meant it to come out as a cold statement like that when she explained that, that was a green light. It came out in a strangled squeak
He grabbed her shoulders, and saw the truth in her eyes, that she was not a strong woman, but scared out of her mind. He remembered what she had told him on the hill, what he had done to her, and Bryan pulled her into his chest. Hugging her, trying to show her he’d protect her without any strings, he’d stay and make sure she never had to face that again.
“How?”
“Private investigator is mom’s guess. She says his worse Bryan.” Tears clogged her throat and she buried her face into his chest. He could feel her lips move as she tried to get out the facts. “She says he’s been doing more drugs. That he’s showing the signs of addiction. I already knew that, but its worse. She says its worse. He was so bad, how could it be worse?” She demanded on a sob.
He held on and whispered nonsense he hoped would help her through. He said it would be okay, he didn’t know if it would be, but he’d try. Her sobs racked her body. He was holding onto her as her tears leaked through his shirt and onto his skin. Hot tears that cooled quickly. Bryan’s hands fisted as they lay on her back. Slowly her sobs calmed, and her tears stopped flowing. She realized she had cried all over him, and tried to sit up before being pulled back.
“Just a little longer.” He said.
She didn’t mind, it was a comfort to be held as if she was something fragile, for once something that needed to be cared for. She wrapped her arms around his waist, cuddling closer. She moved to sit on his lap her head found the curve from shoulder to neck, the one that seemed made for a weary head.
“Bryan.” She sighed his name. “What would I do without you?” She kissed his neck with such innocence and sincerity that he wondered she wasn’t an angel.
Trying to keep the mood somewhat light. “Well. I imagine you’d go crazy.”
She gave him the laugh he was looking for, though somewhat unconvincingly. “True enough.”
He stood up, suddenly uncomfortable. She was too close and he was too tempted. And he would not take advantage of her weakness. She was so beautiful. So sad looking but so beautiful; she looked like an angel, one lost in a forest trying to find her way to heaven through the world that seemed like hell. She was everything he ever wanted, and everything he couldn’t have. She needed tenderness and right now he was too wound up to be able to offer any. So he strode across the room then thought better and sat on the opposite side of the couch from her.
“So what was it you were going to tell me?” Change of subject, good.
“Nothing.”
“Tell me.” This was good. Games were good. Games were innocent. Games weren’t seductive and wouldn’t lead him into temptation.
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Well what’s it about?”
“You.”
He raised a brow, now he was thoroughly interested.
“And what is it about me that you’re holding such secret to?”
Ok, she was in an emotional state, but she wasn’t so emotional that she was stupid. His game was working on distracting her. But it reminded her of her earlier thoughts. So much was happening right now that she just didn’t know what to do.
She felt comforted in his arms, and she didn’t want to leave them. Too bad, she’d have to find a way back into them. Things were moving fast, when he had cradled her she really did feel like he would always be able to protect her, she felt like she could happily stay there forever.
What her mother said stuck in her mind. ‘Find a distraction.’ And she was looking straight at him. She guessed that some games could be fun, but she had a better on in mind.
He looked ready to stay on the subject forever, playing this silly game of yes and no. Holly wasn’t about to lose her any game to the stubbornness of one man, her competitive spirit kicked in, and so did her mind. Who said cheating wasn’t part of the rules? She wanted a distraction and she would have one. But by god it was going to be more then a silly game of who can catch whom up first; so she leaned over and kissed him.
Slowly crawling over his body until he lay on the couch and she was straddling him as her lips assaulted his. This was a much better distraction. And being in charge did much good to her dwindling self esteem.
“Tell me” He said when she moved to trace kisses and nips along his neck and collarbone.
“No.” She moved back to his mouth and silenced him.
‘Okay’, was his only thought before his only thought became her.
She nipped at his lips before parting them with her tongue. He was steeped in her and she had barely begun; she was a drug, a fast acting hallucinogen that caused him to see stars. Holly nipped at his chin then ran her tongue over the same place as if to heal it. She attacked his ear next. The sensitive lobe seemed defenseless against her hot breath and mouth. She was skilled. Her teenaged years had been full of learning and only some of it was from school. How else would she end up with a partly grown child at her age, if not for the naivety of youth? She attacked the sensitive skin behind his ear, causing his skin to shiver in pleasure.
She moved back in a quick greedy kiss before sitting upright and removing her shirt, she flung it to the side before diving back down to take him higher.
She no longer cared that it was a mistake, just that it felt so good. She would deal with the consequences when they came. Screw them, and in a sense, that’s just what she was going to do. Holly giggled against his lips as she brought her hands up under his shirt. It was such a delight to meet his naked flesh. She slid the shirt off of him and fastened her lips and tongue to his chest. Her body was slowly moving in tune with his, a rhythm set by only them. Holly slowly slid down his body, her lips trailing over where her hands left. She grinned up at him as a moan escaped his lips; she unbuckled his jeans, neatly kissing the edges where jean met flesh. She was still grinning as she pulled away his jeans and tore back up to his mouth.
His legs were tangled with hers as he tried to get some purchase from the couch cushions. His hands were roaming over her, pulling at garments that seemed to get in the way. He needed her skin against his, flesh against flesh. He fought with the latch on her jeans, then as he got it, he tore them down her legs before flipping her over to be pinned beneath him. He made his journey down her body as their roles reversed. She clutched at the pillows as he licked and kissed every piece of skin he could get his hands on. She moaned as he kissed the inside of her thigh. Her moan became a groan as he worked his magic with hands and mouth.
When she pulled him back up to her she grabbed his hair and pulled him down for such a deep kiss he felt he was being eaten alive. No woman with all her hunger had ever taken him so far without literally taking him.
A sense of impatience swept over them as they both tore at what articles of clothing remained. They devoured each other’s mouths and bodies. His large hands were molded to her body, pressing her closer and closer until she feared she would explode from the heat that was boiling in her center.
She trembled once then tumbled with Bryan off the side of the couch and then side of the world.
They lay in a bundle at the floor somehow trapped between the coffee table that was now on its side, and the couch that looked supremely mussed. They were panting and cooling off as the sweat they’d gathered chilled in the air that was much cooler then their bodies. Her shirt was flung on the mantle. His pants where on a lamp, Holly’s bra and panties were no where to be seen and for the life of her she could not locate, in her quick scan, her own pants, or socks, or his boxers, or shirt. Holly and Bryan grinned at each other, satisfied as could be.
Bryan rolled over, pulling Holly with him to lie on his chest. “I’m a little heavy.”
“I didn’t notice.” She all but purred. Too sated to feign embarrassment or regret she sighed in complete satisfaction.
“Mm.” Holly looked down at him at the sound of his only response. His eyes were closed and a half smile had spread across his face. He looked extremely relaxed and extremely pleased with himself. He noticed her bra was hanging from the fan and that his boxers were on the top of a bookshelf.
“Have a good time?” She asked jokingly. Her energy was up and raring, and hopefully his soon would be too.
“Yeah, I should come over for dinner more often.” He grinned in her general direction. His eyes were still closed and his voice sounded husky.
“Want to come tomorrow?”
“For this kind of dessert, I’ll come whenever you want me to.” Holly felt the rumble in his chest as he laughed to his own joke.
“Speaking of dessert,” Holly murmured. It seems she wanted a second helping.